If penis size is any indication, the ancient Greeks truly thought good things came in small - sometimes very small - packages.

Looking at a classic (in other words, very old) Greek sculpture today, you would understandably think that the Greeks of yesteryear liked their men vein-poppingly ripped. Abs of steel, insane muscle tone that had nothing to do with steroids and a tush you could bounce a coin off of — that was how a man in Greece was desired to look like. Oh, and a teensy, tiny penis added in almost as an afterthought.

It is thought that the Greeks gave their statues small penises because they didn’t believe the organ to be a significant sign of strength. Generally, men sculpted in Greek art were respected for their intellect and accomplishments. The exceptions? In another form of creative expression, actors portraying the role of the fool in a play onstage often went in front of audiences with a comically oversized (prop) penis. Sculpted villainy was presented through one key physical feature, and that was a larger and sometimes even erect penis. In public at least, a flaccid penis signified self-control, restraint and intelligence; traits highly respected in ancient Greek culture.

In today’s world, where everything has to be judged and ranked somehow, manhood has its own built-in measuring tape: the penis. Over the centuries a big penis has come to represent power and prestige, not an over-sized constant reminder that the bearer of one such sexual organ might be a complete idiot. Of course, there is always the argument that the sculptors of these classic Greek works of art just assumed their subjects would be in a very cold room and portrayed that accordingly. For those gentlemen of today who find themselves sporting a small-ish penis, congratulations. Ancient Greece would have been giving you high-fives while you boasted about your bigger-than-normal brain.

Story by Jay Moon